Red Region Inferno

So I went and changed our profiles on the three sites we use for meeting other swingers to say that we are “on a break from meeting new people.”

It was about photo switching time and I almost did it just because of habit, but realized it was kinda stupid to do so if we are on a break.

I purused some profiles though and it got me thinking about how bad some profile photos are and what kind of thinking process must have been employed to end up posting such stupid / bad images for the main pics.

I also got to thinking about how different the sites we use are when it comes to people and their photos.

The biggest site we use if you are going by active memberships is Adult Friend Finder.
This site is probably the most well known of all the adult dating sites and also the most heavily advertised.
Because of that it is full of flakes, fakes, and douchebags.
Even so… because it is so large and so popular it is one of the best places to meet other swingers online.
It is the best site to meet newer couples and hardcore swingers alike.
The newer couples are on Adult Friend Finder   because it is the site they found first, and the more active regular players are on it because it is huge and easy to meet people on a regular basis.
The photos people post on this site however just confuse the heck out of me.
What is up with people posting 50 shots of their genitals?
What the heck do they think that will get them?
Or people using out of date bad camera phone pictures with their heads blocked out by stupid scribbles or blobs?
Do these people think that is attractive?
I understand the need for discretion… but how can people be to lazy to take a nice photo for their profile and then expect that people will want to have sex with them?
If you are to lazy to upload a nice photo you are probably to lazy to brush your teeth, shave, wash, and plan for a great evening too.
Adult Friend Finder  may be big, and it may be one of the most easy to meet people who swing type sites on the net… but it isn’t the place to go if you want to see a lot of nice photos.

Looking around SwingLifestyle.com I get a whole different sort of pictures to see.
Very rarely am I bombarded with nothing except genitals.
That’s good… one genital shot is enough thank you very much.
SwingLifestyle.com Does have the blocked faces with big blob pictures problem however.
Seems like the majority of the pictures are random bad shots or quickly executed poses in bad lighting made specifically with the purpose of blocking out the faces to annoy me.
If you do have the need to block faces… take some fucking time and do it nicely.

The crowd on SwingLifestyle.com differs a bit from Adult Friend Finder in that you will not find as many looky lou types and scammers.
You will also not find as many newbies, but it is still a great site for meeting newer couples if that is your thing.
The majority of the seriously active couples on SwingLifestyle.com are lifetime membership couples because they offer a very good deal for lifetime membership.
The site has an outdated feel to it and if it wasn’t for the large amount of lifetime members would certainly need re-done to keep competitive on the web today.
Since couples seeking other couples are more interested in people to choose from than fancy web design SwingLifestyle.com cruises along very well even without all the fancy bells and whistles.

For those who have to have a fancy looking site however… LifeStyle Lounge  is a very purdy site.
More importantly (and to stay on subject) is that LifeStyle Lounge  is the only site of it’s type I have used that doesn’t seem loaded with all the crude, nasty, icky pictures that I see on other sites.
One reason is that they don’t allow explicit photos or genitals to be shown on the front photos area. They are very strict about it.
Any photos of those types must be put in private galleries.
LifeStyle Lounge  also isn’t full of all the funny blocked of heads because most people put face pictures in a special section (gold pics) that only people who have been marked as real by other members may see.
LifeStyle Lounge also doesn’t do any advertising to speak of and relies on word of mouth by it’s members. This keeps out the dregs and fakers a bit and because they seem to cater to a more upscale crowd they don’t tend to have as many photo hounds.
The one problem with the ‘upscale’ sales pitch is that a lot of profiles are full of nothing except professional photos.
Professional photos are fine, but I consider it a bit of false advertising too when the profile doesn’t show at least a few snap shots and candid shots.
Soft lights, and soft focus + some photo shop doesn’t represent what a person really looks like.
LifeStyle Lounge  definitely has the crowd that cares most about a good profile and makes sure to have nice photos… but some go overboard.
Give me some real you shots please!

So… That is what we use.
We take our own photos (or they are photos swinger friends have taken) and we show what and who we are.
We do hide our faces on the main pages, but allow real seal , networked, and friends to see the rest of us.

Here are a couple of examples (actually our current front pictures)

Example of one of our main page pictures for our profile.

You got to show the male

As you can see… our pictures show enough to let a couple get an idea if they are interested enough to find out more and do not cross the boundaries of being overly sexual.
Sexy yes (at least to us) but not XXX or nasty.

We always change up the male female main pictures.
Not much worse than a profile that only shows one person in a couple.
Usually it is the female half shown.
What the heck are people thinking?
Most people we know (including us) will not correspond with people who don’t show both halves of the couple.
It is just too spooky. Is the other half really ugly? Are they fakes? Is just one person involved? Dose one person in the couple have such low confidence they are afraid to show themselves? Do they consider their partner property that they can “trade” / “swap” so their own picture isn’t needed?
Or maybe they are actually some kind of freakish Yettie type creature just trying to lure foolish swinger couples to their den.
Hmm…
One never knows.
Show both halves!

I could go on forever that way about the showing just one person thing. So annoying!

Please not that all this stuff I have been babbling about is in relation to main front profile pictures.
The photos used in the extra galleries I really have no opinion about.
If you want to show 500 crotch shots for some reason in your extra galleries go for it.
I have no clue how it will affect your response rate to your profile.

So… The rundown…

Adult Friend Finder – The most pictures and most people. The most crude pictures and xxx.

SwingLifestyle.com- The least pictures. More home-style and real. Not to much xxx in your face, but some.

LifeStyle Lounge - The nicest photos. No xxx in your face.

and that… is my take on that!
I would very much like to know if others agree or disagree with my views on the main pics of these various sites… so please comment if you use any of the above mentioned sites.

A few weeks back in my A Date With Blueberry Muffin  post I talked about an odd conversation with our most special of friends.
A conversation about feelings of attachment, commitment, emotions, possessiveness, and the like.
I also told how my “girlfriend” ended up saying the L word in bed and that I left her hanging.

The end result was that she said she would never tell me that again unless I asked her to tell me.

Fast forward to Labor Day weekend.

My girlfriend only let the L word out a few times again before the weekend. I had not asked her and she always said she was sorry.
She said she new I felt the same, but that she didn’t want to push.

Hmm… o.k.
She pushed.
I liked her pushing.
I did feel the same.

For the weekend we all went to a cabin up in the woods.
It is a place our friends go every Labor Day weekend. A place all their family goes.
We had to behave and a no touching in public policy was rule because of all their family being around.
It was pretty tough. We are all naturally touchy when together.
We did behave though.
We all found it sad how we have to hide how we are and how we feel towards each other because of other peoples lack of understanding.
It is however the way of the world.

I’d like to say the no touching in public rule was the reason we spent so much time in the cabin, but the truth is we all just wanted to have sex.
Even though I had arrived tired, grumpy, and with a sore back my girlfriend somehow coaxed 7 amazing orgasms out of me within the first 24 hours.

It was her husbands birthday weekend and besides my wife making him some special deserts and a few cool presents she made sure he had a great weekend.
Not that anybody was keeping score… but we had a tie going on when it came to cumming at the 24 hour mark.
My wife then informed me that her boyfriend (my girlfriends husband for any who are lost) dropped the L word on her too.

Are things getting too serious?

Yes and no.

Yes because society doesn’t approve of this sort of thing.
We have been discussing building a house together someday.
My wife and I are talking of moving 9 hours across state to live in the same town with our friends.
After a lot of contemplation and soul searching I realized that my darling girlfriend is exactly that.
“my darling” and I do indeed have those crazy feelings for her and worry constantly that something will ruin it all and I will no longer have her.
I realized that the thought of her not being there in my future causes me pain.
I realized that I needed to ask her to say it… so I could say it back.
I waited until we walked in the woods alone.
Just the two of us.
I didn’t want her to think it was a moment of passion.
I told her I loved her.
I meant it.

What kind of relationship we all have I don’t know.
If it will last I also don’t know.
At this point we all hope it will.

A couple weeks earlier we had all decided to be exclusive for a while.
No “playing with others” while we let our new feelings settle in.

That came about during a phone call when my girlfriend admitted that the idea of me playing with others made her sick to her tummy and that it was a “hurty” feeling.
Oddly enough I understood because to be honest and against all my beliefs I really didn’t like the idea of her “playing” with anybody else either.
It was “hurty.”

I have contemplated this strange way of thinking and have figured it out.
Being someone who has never felt jealousy before it was a hard egg to swallow.
What I realized was that I felt this way because of a need to posses this girl.
I don’t have jealousy with my wife because I know she is “mine.”
My girlfriend on the other hand says she is “mine”, but our relationship has not reached a point that allows me to think that way. I am hers and she is mine, but only to a point.
When it reaches a permanent state of “us” it will be different.
The us isn’t formed yet.
We are thinking in that way a bit, but it is still to new and fragile.
Once it has become an us that feels secure we wont have those feelings.
I will be able to watch her with another and think of her as “my girlfriend” in a different way.
The same way I can watch my wife and think of her as “mine” no matter what she is doing.

I explained this to my pretty girlfriend and she understood and agreed  that is the situation.

Someday… but not now… we will be able to attend a swingers party together as a group of 4 and play with whoever we desire without emotional issues.
For now though we all agree that we would not enjoy such a thing and if we did go to a party or club for the social aspects it would be a play with each-other only type thing.

So polyamory is the word of the day.
We are exploring polyamory, but all still think of ourselves as swingers.
We plan to someday swing again.
In groups of two, three, and four… as a team.

So what does that make us?
Poly people?
Swingers who went to far?
Swingers on break?
Poly swingers?
Fools?
Day dreamers?
Lucky?

Will swingers accept our relationship if it works?
Will they respect it?
We have told a few close swinger friends and gotten mixed reactions.
Some thought it the coolest thing ever.
One couple (who we have hung out with a dozen plus times) pretty much wrote us off.
It is weird what is o.k. and what isn’t in swinger land.

This last weekend was something different to say the least.

My “girlfriend” and her husband whom my wife calls her “boyfriend” came to visit for a few days.
In our swinging adventures we normally play together.
We are a same room play type couple and never do separate rooms.
We do however have on exception now days and that is this special couple.
Why I mention that is because we pretty much ended up swapping spouses for the entire weekend.
More than the weekend actually.

They had been supposed to arrive on Friday, but they showed up on Thursday night instead.
My girlfriend was a bit frazzled about this because she was not ready.
She said she was a hairy monster.
That meant she had not done all her pre swinging special detailing that she normally would have and wasn’t ready to play.

My wife however kicked us out of the room (she was ready) and we ended up hiding in our bedroom.
I had not seen this gorgeous girl in almost a month. (we live 9 hours apart)
Nothing could stop me. I wanted her badly.
She did give in.

We all felt very happy for our extra Thursday.

Friday was spent at the beach. We played in the sand and looked in tidal pools.
We caught up on things and talked about lighthearted stuff and serious stuff.

My wife and her boyfriend needed a nap they said so my pretty girl and I went on a short hike in the mountains.
We talked and engaged in mental foreplay.
When we got home we found our spouses had done no sleeping at all.
They did seem in high spirits though… so we didn’t complain.

The night was approaching.
I was getting very excited.
I had a special treat in store.

You see my dear readers… I have a fetish.
It is costumes.
I get very turned on by certain types of costumes worn by certain types of girls.
My pretty visitor was just that sort of girl and she had brought just that sort of costume.
She went all out.
My wife (who is a hairdresser) did her hair and she got all dressed up for me as Blueberry Muffin.
If you are not in the know… that is a character from Strawberry Shortcake land.

We had been talking about this special date for over 3 weeks.
I was so excited.

Eventually she was all ready.
What I expected was sexy – What I got was amazing.
Lately I am thinking I should always expect amazing with this particular person as she never falls short of better than I can imagine.

We locked ourselves into the bedroom together.
She didn’t just dress up.
She played the role.

What I got was a naive young girl who just happened to be very naughty.
She wanted to taste my special candy… and said it “so nummy.”

We found her special spot and told her it was even more nummy.
She suggested we mix the flavors and then wanted to taste again.
“Mmm… they taste so good together.” She said.
We did a lot of mixing of our flavours after that.
It was a wonderful time for us both.

After cleaning up we all switched back for sleepy time.

The next morning was breakfast made by my wife with a tad of help from her boyfriend.

We all went to the lake for the day.

When we got home the girls made a big production of getting all dolled up for the evening.
We went out for a few drinks and a chat.
The chat turned serious and the discussion was about or odd relationship.
Mostly it was about how odd it was that we clicked so well and the even stranger fact that all of us felt attached.

It was not the average discussion a person would hear when sitting at a table with 4 swingers.
The “lifestyle” is not about emotional bonds.

We are all swingers.
We all enjoy nights out with others who like to end the evening naked in bed and have a few good orgasms.
We all admitted to having feelings of possessiveness.
Feelings of attachment.
Lack of wanting other partners much.

We even discussed the possibility of becoming exclusive at some point.

It was pretty heavy stuff.

I was non committal on the subject.

When home we didn’t waste much time.

My pretty swinger girl and I went straight to the bedroom.
We started getting into play.
I was about to start talking really naughty when she started talking about feelings.
She asked how much she should confess… I said to always be honest and tell all.

The sex was of the bonding variety.
Slow, sensual, with talking.
Then she said the L word.
Yes… Love.
“I love you.”

I had not expected that.
I was stunned and shocked.
My voice didn’t work and I couldn’t think.

My attachment to this beautiful girl was huge. I could not however return those words.
I don’t use the L word.
I have said it to 5 people ever in my life. Two of those people are my children.
My parents and siblings don’t get it.
It is a block. I can only say it if it is way beyond what most people consider love.
I can only say it when I know I will always feel it without any doubt.

I am not one of those people that says they love their dog or cat.
I’m one of those people that think “how the fuck can you LOVE an animal?”
You can’t. If that is what love is to you then we are not on the same page.
Love to me is special.
Part of being special is how rare it is. Part of love is that it is forever. It is sure. No doubt can exist.

My lack of response hurt her.

We talked.
She got angry, but then relaxed.
She called me some names.
She said she would just wait because she new I felt it too.
I could not deny it.
I couldn’t say I did and I couldn’t say I didn’t.

They whole situation was and is very confusing.
We fell asleep together.

We had sex in the morning.

We had sex later that day again before they left.
Whatever happened in-between I can’t remember.

My mind was struck dumb from her confession.

Two days later we talked about it on the phone.

She still felt a bit hurt.
She felt it was all her fault.
She felt foolish, and naive.
She felt as if she should not have said it.
She felt betrayed.

I said it was partially my fault.
I told her she wasn’t being foolish.

She said she would never tell me that again unless I asked her to tell me.
She would feel as she felt, but not say it until I desired it.
The rule was however that I would not ask unless I was ready to say it back.
I thought that a fare deal.

I felt bummed though.
I adored hearing her say it. I want to hear her say it.
Such a scary thing to care so much about someone when not everything is within your control.

Last night we had a date.
My wife spent the entire day getting the house ready, and even bought all new bedding.
We are talking about going all out here.

The reason is because the couple that was coming over are super nice and have done some really cool nice things for us over the months we have known them and we have never actually got around to playing with them.
Hectic schedules and crazy occurrences in life have always stopped us.
The have been trying for a date for months… Finally it is here.

2 hours before they arrive – spotting.
Aunt flow has decided to come over.

We decide to just tell them when they arrive.
They had been coming to dinner anyway and we figured we could just hang out.

On arrival they have with them a bag of toys.
They are excited.
We tell them of the situation and they seemed pretty bummed.
That’s how life goes though sometimes, so we all have dinner and make the best of it with conversation.

Eventually our conversation turned to SLS and profile pictures (that is the site we met them on) and then to swinging in general, sex, and finally toys. (remember the bag they brought)
It becomes a toy show.

A Hitachi magic wand is pulled out.
My wife has never had a Hitachi used on her.
It looks to big and seems to powerful.

The female half of the couple decided to demonstrate.

Into the bedroom we go.

She had a dress on, but no panties so she didn’t need to strip.
After a minute or so of using the Hitachi I decided to strip her anyway for aesthetic purposes.

I also decided to add my hands to the game for her orgasm purposes… It seemd to help.

After 2 amazing orgasms we decided to use it on my wife.
It was a bit to much for her and we switched to a mini version of the wand that got her just right.

For the simple reason that the big one was just sitting there and I had a naked 24 year old horny blond in front of me I decided to turn it back on and see if she would enjoy a 3rd ‘O”.

She was happy to head that direction.

It is funny how swinger couples are so much more open to fun with sex toys than vanilla couples.
It isn’t really sex. It’s just a toy.
Makes me think about how uptight people in the world are.
Humans have way to many hang ups.

So… I brought the girl to her 3rd ‘O’ and my wife had two in a row from the mini wand.

My wife (being the giving person she is) decided to return the favor of an ‘O’ to they guy operating the machinery.

Not one to mess around she un-bottoned his pants and showed off her amazing skills.

I guess the girl who had just had 3 took that as a sign and went to work on me.

I got to the point that I wanted more and was just starting to think about grabbing a condom when her husband stated saying “almost , just about, I am about there” and that sort of thing.

Both he and my wife would not have minded in the least if I and his wife decided to go farther… and she was very wanting of it at the moment, but I didn’t think it fair.
I like to stay on the same page usually if it is a first time with a new lifestyle couple.
I pushed myself towards orgasm and said I was there… The girl actually stopped for a moment with a “why?” type look in her eyes, but then figured it out.
She went back to it and it didn’t take to long to get back to that point.

We all hung out and chatted a bit before they headed home.
Even with Flow coming to visit we had a good time (though not what we had planned)
The next morning the girl showed up with scones and muffins and had pancakes for breakfast with us.
(her husband had to work)

A small side note:
She kept her glasses on the entire time.
Cute horn rimmed librarian style glasses.
It was very sexy.
I love it when a girl keeps her glasses on for oral.

Obviously I survived the weekend or I wouldn’t be posting, but survive is about it.
Because of over-taxing myself  I am still sick as a dog.

We arrived in Ocean Shores Friday around 2:pm and our hotel room wasn’t ready.
I argued with the desk people a while and they shuffled some rooms and got us all checked in.
We called the couple we had made our plans with and agreed to meet at 3:30 at some place with a big shark for a front door.
I showered, shaved,etc… Took a ton of cold medicine and away we went.

Anxiety was big because we had been planning this all year and I was very excited to meet with the girl of the couple.
We had been texting/talking daily for months.

When we arrived the male half was waiting outside.
He didn’t look happy.
“Oh-no”
Turned out he was just a tad nervous himself.
The girl was very happy and outgoing however and made it all good.
She was also gorgeous beyond what I had imagined and I had seen over a hundred pictures of her.

We went and got some fish-n-chips and chatted a bit.
All was good.
I had been worried my wife was not going to get along with the hubby.
They hadn’t had much communication and what they had was average to say the least.
They did get along however so I relaxed a bit.

We checked out the town a bit and went to the triathlon registration.
After that it was cocktails and dinner, then quik trip back to our hotel to freshen up before going to their room.

The tension was pretty high.
My wife and the hubby had hit it off huge by this point and both of them pretty much ignored myself and the pretty girl I had been waiting to see all year.

We began kissing and slowly undressing each-other.
She was heavenly.
My cold was all of a sudden hardly bugging me.
We got frenzied and she teased me and made me want her more.
When she went down on me she did it perfect.
Everything she did was perfect.
Ahh… to much.
When we finally got to the intercourse part I was way to built up.
I was having super huge feelings of wanting to orgasm and couldn’t get rid of them.
The foreplay had lasted about an hour.
I lasted about a minute.
She didn’t seem to mind and told me that it made her feel sexy and desired because of they way I lost it.
I didn’t believe her at the time, and because of my cold I was not able to get it back up for round two.
My wife however was already done with her round one and came over to help out.
Even with her help it was a no go.

I sent my wife back to play with her new boy toy and I made shure my new friend got a second orgasm.
(She had already had one during our earlier oral play)

My wife had the best time ever.
I was a bit stressed though over my performance and figured I better do dang good on the next night.

We headed back to our room to get a few hours sleep before the triathlon in the morning.
I was so stressed over my performance with my swingers fantasy girl that I couldn’t sleep at all.
Not a wink.
I was up the entire night.

I headed out at 6:am with zero sleep and sick as hell to compete in a triathlon.
Pure stubborn.
I was dizzy even walking and my wife said I looked like the living dead.

We met our friends and set up our transition areas.

I put on my wet suit and went to the lake to await death.

When my wave started I felt o.k. for about the first 200 yards and then my sickness and weakness over took me.
I got kicked pretty hard in my already stuffed up nose and my goggles got messed up.
I thought “Fuck, I am gonna drown I am so tired.”
Somehow I slugged through the swim though and made it to shore.

This is me walking (not running) out of the water after the swim leg of the triathlon.

I took it super easy on the bike leg and just cruised it.
Bike is what I am good at though, so even just trying to chill because of sickness I still got a better than average time.

The run however was what I was worried about and the primary reason I chilled on the bike.
I chugged along super slow with a bout a 9 minute mile average.
Somehow I finished.

Looking as bad as I felt, but still happy that I stubbornly pushed myself through even when sick.

 
Note:
My wife took third overall in the 10k running in her vibrams five fingers.
It was her first 10k running in them and she said she was happy about their performance.

After the races we all went and showered up.

It was decided I needed a nap.
I stayed on the bed trying to sleep for 2 hours while we heard crashing and booming and yelling maids.
Finally my wife freaked out and went to the desk.
We ended up moving rooms.
The result was NO nap.

Note:
The Lighthouse Best Western in Ocean Shores was the worst hotel experience of my life.
I wont go into detail about it, but the noise and rude staff was enough to make me say that.
I used to travel as part of my work.
I have stayed in literally thousands of hotels.
So being the worst is quite an accomplishment.

No sleep, sick, worn out, and stressed form the night before.
What a great way to feel as I start to get ready for our night.

We did some more site seeing and some beach walking.
Even in my stupor of sick, tired , and medicine dosing I was captivated by the girl.
My wife was acting like a giddy teenager because of her husband so she didn’t seem to mind that I had tunnel vision for this beaty.

Eventually it was time for coctails (I skipped them because i was already punch drunk dizzy)
We sat around a couple hours talking about swinging, swingers and funny adventures.

The time came to go upstairs to a room and my anxiety went crazy.
What if I fail to perform?
What if I repeate last nights performance?
I’m to sick, to stressed, to worried.

My wife just told me to chill out and not worry.
“It never happened before, and it wont again.” she said.
Her words didn’t help.

My fantasy girl went to the bathroom to get dressed in something special.
My wife just continued flirting with her new friend.
I just continued stressing.

When the pretty summer fantasy girl came out of the bathroom my jaw dropped.
She was dressed in a sexy , strappy, black, almost nothing outfit, with F-Me heals and her hair in pigtails (because she knows I liked them)

She came to me and asked me if I liked it.
A few stammered compliments later she shut me up with a kiss.
I began exploring her body from head to toe.
I worked my way down until I was on the floor with her above me and then back up again.
We began to get serious and her dazzling beauty took me away.
It was dream like.

No problems this time.
I forgot to be nervous, I forgot I was tired and sick.
I was lost in the moment.
It was amazing.
I built to that just about to orgasm point and held it there for about a half an hour.
Only after she begged me to cum for close to 10 minutes did I let it happen.

I laid there for a while with her and we talked.
We turned to watch our spouses for a while until they told us to stop.
Then this sexy creature laying on top of me worked her way down and used her mouth to bring me to another incredible orgasm.

Afterwards I tried to return the favor, but she wouldn’t let me and said i had to wait.
We just talked quietly for a half hour or so.
Our spouses seemed to be doing the same between bouts of wrestling and hitting each-other and other funny behavior.

The beauty then said she wanted me to fuck her.
I said 2 was my limit, and that I was even surprised I got that with being so tired.
She said o.k. and preceded to kiss me, touch me, rub on me…
I slowly grew as she rubbed her warmth on me and made my desire rise.
She pushed softly on my now hard cock – teasing with her wetness.
I grabbed a condom and put it on.
She slid down on it and rode me until we both came again.

A beautiful angel with sex ninja skills!
That is what she was.

We hung out for another hour or so.
They wanted us to stay, but we like privacy in the morning.

We met for breakfast and decided to fly kites on the beach.
After our kite flying we all went our separate ways.

We have talked with this couple daily since (as I did before) and they had just as wonderful of an experience as we did.
Both have called us their favorites ever and said our sexual fun was the best ever.

My wife smiles whenever the guy texts, and is still giddy from her overly fun weekend.

As for me… My summer fantasy girl turned out to be ten times more wonderful than even my fantasy had painted her.

It is very rare for all 4 people to clique so perfectly in the lifestyle.

We are already making plans to get together again.