How long should intercourse last?
8 Jan
We are all different in what we like and how we function.
When it comes to sex that is as true of a statement as can be made.
Yet… we are also all kinda the same.
People often post little polls in the forums on Lifestyle Lounge.
I recently saw this one on how long a woman wants a man to go at it during intercourse.
The question read as follows:
While fucking…the actual act…how long do you prefer the guy to take before cumming? Is there a thing about taking too long? If a guy cums quicker than you want…do you give him the “second chance” ?
These were the results:
1-3 minutes is just right 2 [ 1.75% ]
4-10 minutes is perfect 27 [ 23.68% ]
11-15 minutes. After that I get bored and raw 18 [ 15.79% ]
15-30 minutes. So I can have 3 orgasms 37 [ 32.46% ]
I want to go all night non-stop! 13 [ 11.40% ]
All of the above 9 [ 7.89% ]
None of the above 8 [ 7.02% ]
Not a lot of votes were in yet, but nonetheless I found it interesting.
People in the lifestyle (swingers) seem to to like their intercourse to last about the same amount of time everyone else does.
I found that surprising because I have met a few girls in the lifestyle that wanted to go go go.
Many more than what I have met outside of swinging.
This little article on esquire says adequate coitus lasts anywhere from three to seven minutes.
Here is a quote from the article;
“Very few people have intercourse per se [Latin for by thrust] that goes longer than 12 minutes,” says sex therapist Barry W. McCarthy. Essentially, ejaculatory inhibition, which is also called “delayed orgasm” or “junkie orgasm,” has less to do with actual time than an inability to ejaculate when you’d like. And premature ejaculation, which is also called “rapid ejaculation” or “your ejaculation,” refers to intercourse that lasts less than a minute or two.
It seems this matches up great with the favored time of most women who answered the poll on LL.
Still… “delayed orgasm” or “junkie orgasm” ???
I can go off within a minute or make myself last up to an hour pretty easy.
I usually like about 10 to 15 minutes, but it depends.
Sometimes if I get up in the 40 minute plus zone I lose sensation though and can even lose my erection.
Not cool!
On medindia.net I found this sex duration calculator.
It only allows you to say up to 8 minutes.
For my age and ethnicity it says
“Your have indicated that your average time of sexual intercourse is above 8 minutes .
But for your age, ethnicity and country, the average time is generally 3.5 minutes.”
Then the info along with the calculator states…
“Research indicates that the best sexual intercourse lasts between 7 and 13 minutes.”
If 7 to 13 is best and 3.5 is average for my age/ethnicity then I am seeing a not perfect situation for my fellow forty something males in their bedrooms at home.
There fix it advice is to have more foreplay.
Hows that fix intercourse?
Maybe these guys already have tons of foreplay and please their partners ten times over before intercourse.
On wikipedia I found a bit of info dating back to 91 that said June M. Reinisch and Ruth Beasley of the Kinsey Institute found that 75 percent of men ejaculated within two minutes of penetration.
The guys they sampled must have been highly stressed.
How long a girl wants it to last…
from my own experience I can say that I have had gals get pissed and even bitch at me if I give them an ultra quicky (minute man style)
I will say that I have never done this with a girl on a first or second or even a third date/time.
I think that is why they get pissed. They know it wasn’t my usual way.
My thinking is that if I feel a really strong orgasm coming on I should go for it because it may not be as strong later.
Round two is also always hoped for… and it ain’t like I just stop and roll over.
The reason i never do it on the first through third dates/times is because I figure I may not get my second/third/fourth if I did.
I’ve also had many girls ask me to cum when I wasn’t at a perfect cum time so I have asked why and the reason was “getting sore.”
Sometimes it has been in as little as 15 minutes.
Some girls however want it for a full hour and after a 15 minute break think it is time to go again.
Sadly I need more than just a 15 minute break nowadays if it was a long one like that.
I read a bunch of other dorky webpages on average times and average wishes of females.
The four to ten minutes the LL poll is showing as the top deal seems to be the consensus.
I’m having a stupid thought about setting a stopwatch for 4 minutes and hitting the button on penetration.
“beep beep beep” 4 minutes later and I call halftime and pull out for a minute.
Cheerleaders do their thing and then I go back into the game.
I get weird thoughts like that all the time… don’t worry, I won’t be setting any stop watches.
So, my question to you is how long do you think it should last and how long (in your life) does it usually last?
For me I would say I usually go for 10 to 15 minutes.
I’d like it more around 20 to 25.
My primary partner however does NOT want it to be that long.
She is more into maybe 5 to 10 max.
I try to please. (usually)
Seriously? I like it to last as long as it takes. If a man is so turned on by me that it’s a quickie then that is a lovely compliment. If another time it’s langourous and slow that’s delicious too. If it’s on/ off/ on/ off that’s fun. And if the break between is a bit longer then I’m delighted because that’s the time for the intimacy of touch and skin and eyes and hands and just being in the moment. It’s not all about penetration. It’s not all about the thrusting. It’s the whole experience, the moment, the passion, the sleepiness, the kink, the demands of the day, the laziness of the night, the setting… I don’t have definitive stats! If it’s good then every time is different!
I would not even think of timing it… it’s what happens during it that matters!!!
~Kazi xxx
I’m the wrong person to ask. When we’re done, he could tell me it took 5 minutes or an hour and I’d never know the difference. The zone I go into when I’m having sex is so intense that I have absolutely no sense of time passing at all.
(SilverHubby says the actual penetration time is anywhere between 15 and 40 minutes – usually anal. Vaginal, which we do far less often, is about 10-20 minutes.)
I can’t give an exact time. It always depends on my mood. Sometimes I want to go all night and others, just a hard quickie please. If I am playing, than I want it to last long but if we are fucking on a Tuesday, 15min is good I guess. See! I can’t even give an exact answer. Very informative post! Going to ask a few of my guys how long they like it!
I think this is an interesting take on things. I’m a numbers junkie but always struggle with the variables, what’s the mood, where are we, how many other things are going on in the world. Based on my primary partner she’d tell you at 10 minutes she’d trying to turn up the heat and by 15 is pulling out all the stops to get me to cum.
For me, it is a less important part of my sexual experience. I can have so many orgasms in so many different ways I find intercourse to be just one element. But, to answer your question, sometimes a minute can be too long if I have had a particular sort of orgasm where it almost feels like a blood vessel has burst in my head. Other times I can go all night with little rests.
Ultimately, however, if the intercourse goes on for 5 seconds or an hour, it is all irrelevant if other sexual acts are terrible or awe-inspiring.
I never time sex. If I have to guess, I would say that from my first orgasm until my last, it can vary between 10 minutes to an hour before we are done. It doesn’t matter how long it lasts though, not for me. Like Muse said, it’s the whole experience that counts. I am never frustrated if penetration lasts only a minute or two and I never during penetration wish that it should be over. I just enjoy every minute of it ;)
Rebel xox
I am tempted to say… until I cum! *grins
However I have just discussed this with my partner and he agrees with me that it can be anything from a couple of minutes to 20 or 30. It all depends on the amount of foreplay, the situation, the mood etc. I don’t think there is defined optimal time for us.
Mollyxxx
Now see I would not fall into the average woman category. I have gone up to 4 hours, switching positions and the like, taking breaks for him, even though he had yet to ejaculate. Part of the reason is orgasm, real mind blowing orgasm is nearly impossible for me. But I can cum buckets full forever. I do not think I have ever been run dry, ever. Sore yes but I love the soreness that adds to it for me. So 3-6 minutes would only serve to tick me off.
This is a great topic! I agree that 10 minutes is about right. I know some guys can go for like hours, but I don’t need that long if he is doing it right. I get really impatient for the guy to cum if it has been more than 30 minutes.
When we go to the swingers club and have sex it is the same amount of time as when we are at home. I agree that swinger couples all like to be at the same- tempo- with each other, no one likes to be left out.
I liked reading this post. I would have to say that 10 to 15 minutes would seem like a quickie to me. I love to have it last and last. But, I can have multiples more so than a man, so I try and play fair. I think 40 minutes is a good amount of time for an average, but I do enjoy those quicker times just as often. I wrote about time limits, too… http://bsboulevard.blogspot.com/2011/02/eleven-minutes.html