Remember this?
Oh my god
Becky, look at her butt
Its so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute
I mean her butt
It’s just so big
I can’t believe it’s so round
It’s just out there
I mean, it’s gross
Look, she’s just so black
Back when that music video came out I wasn’t so much into big butts.
As a matter of fact I pretty much stuck to girls in the 5’8″ to 6’1″ range and they almost never exceeded 135lbs. Yep… tall and thin was where my tastes lead me.
Times change and so do tastes.

prattler warning:
Here I go…
To keep this a bit more interesting I will add that when my balls tighten up like that I am getting ready to cum.
Everything gets hard and round before the crescendo.
Hopefully that wasn’t more information than you wished to know about my balls, but there you have it.
My girlfriend loves my balls. She likes to lick and play with them. I love her bottom. (not the girlfriend in the pic) She has an ample bottom to say the least. She also has extremely juicy thick thighs that make my mouth water.
My wife doesn’t like balls. She wishes men didn’t have them and says they are in the way and stupid looking. She would prefer if men just had cocks and no balls. Obviously she doesn’t play with mine.
She also has a nice round bottom. (not the wife in pic either) I call it an apple bottom. It is good stuff.
My wife always knows if I will be interested in a girl by her butt and thighs alone. This has helped her out (and me) in swinging situations many a time.
Some random stuff:
I didn’t always enjoy curvy girls. Through my 20′s I exclusively went for tall and thin.
Even when it came to my adult video/photo work I was all about tall and thin. I was fine behind the camera, but avoided the big bottom girls and curvy girls when it came to being in front of the camera as much as I could.
Looking back I realize that not only did I miss out on a lot of lovely ladies, but I also cost myself a lot of work and money.
Though I do have a thing for thick thighs and round bottoms, or as my son likes to say…”big girls,” I actually don’t have a true body type I go for.
Within my top 5 favorite sex partners of the last few years is one who is extremely curvy and weighs in at around 160lbs (if you read this…you are gorgeous by the way) and one who at 5’9″ weighs in at under 120lbs with a tiny bottom that hardly makes a handful.
Beauty can be found in all shapes and sizes I think, and I am attracted to whomever I’m attracted to no matter. I can’t even put a finger on what it is anymore that will visually pull me towards one woman and not another.
After the visuals it is all about attitude and personality. If those don’t turn me on then no matter what my first thought about your appearance was I ain’t gonna get excited.
Sir Mix-A-Lot likes big butts.
I have actually seen this guy twice. Both times on accident.
Once was in Seattle at a club that some crazy stripper chick dragged me into while drunk and another time was in my own small home town when he played a little gig at a bar.
In my small town he was a big deal and the tickets went for $35. each. I had three girls with me and bitched at the door guy telling him it should be $3.50 and I didn’t like being ripped off. A big concert by a huge band was usually about that much. WTF?
Back in those days I was kinda a big deal and hadn’t become a reclusive freaky hermit who hid away from the world yet. They let us in for free, but I was still annoyed. You see my problem then was that besides everyone else thinking I was the cat’s meow… I thought so too. Megalomania hardly describes it.
Anyways… both times I saw him the show sucked balls in a bad way.
See how I worked my way back to the subject of balls?
My wife doesn’t care if I shave. My girlfriend mostly doesn’t either (but requested it recently)
so for the most part I have been rather fuzzy lately. Trimmed, but not smooth.
It has been a very sexless fall and winter for me this year. I’m obviously not celibate or anything, but sometimes it feels like it.
Two years ago when we went on swing dates most every weekend I never saw a hair one on my balls. Now I rarely get a reason to shave. It seemed a pain to have to keep them smooth back then, but now that I rarely have a reason I kinda miss it.
Then when I do get a reason it is extra work because I’m fuzzy so I make a shaving mess and get bitched at by my wife for not cleaning up the bathroom afterwards even though as far as I could tell I did clean up.
Four days later I get new growth itchy, and get bummed I don’t have a reason to shave for the next weekend. It is so much easier just to keep them smooth all the time instead of shaving every couple of months for special events.
Ahh… such sexy talk is ball shaving.
See how I work? I get you thinking sexy thoughts about big juicy bottoms and balls tightening up before orgasm and then babble about shaving and Sir Mix-A-Lot.
Oh well.
In closing I would like to say “girl, come make me shave my balls soon.” (is the one in pic)
I’m needing a reason and I promise not to sing…
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture

Tags: Wanton Wednesday